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TAXI'S HERE

An Aesthetic-Pilled Influencer Flexing An Uber X, And More Of This Week's 'One Main Character'

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An Aesthetic-Pilled Influencer Flexing An Uber X, And More Of This Week's 'One Main Character'
LeBron James with a very LBJ quote, a new kind of urban tree has been revealed, a life-altering question about personal hygiene for people wearing glasses and a laundry list of characters with spicy takes.
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Every day somebody says or does something that earns them the scorn of the internet. Here at Digg, as part of our mission to curate what the internet is talking about right now, we rounded up the main characters on Twitter from this past week and held them accountable for their actions.



This week’s characters include a TikTok influencer who is married to the game, the world's best basketball player with a profound quote, liquid trees, a Twitter user with a question about showering and glasses and more.


And here's a post-credits scene before the movie for you, AKA a shout out to characters we simply couldn't cover:



Sunday

The Dr. LeBron James of feet

The character: LeBron James? Technically, his feet? Or his foot doctor, not really sure who to pin this on…

The plot: This is just a really bizarre quote from LeBron James, who as you all know is one of the best basketball players in the history of the world. Not the best, mind you, but that doesn’t stop him from thinking that. Here’s the quote about going to multiple doctors for second and third opinions on his injured foot, which should require surgery.


The repercussion: If only he went to the Michael Jordan of feet, the actual GOAT. Then maybe his team wouldn’t be missing the playoffs for yet another consecutive year.


Jared Russo





Sunday

Liquid Trees

The character: Liquid Trees. No, I have no idea either, just keep reading

The plot: So scientists came up with a new thing that looks dumb, and the internet took it and ran with it. So many famous green oozes and slimes out there to make fun of “liquid trees” with, like “Flubber” or snot or the Lazarus pit from Batman. It’s nice that this helps fight air pollution but a green tank of dirty looking water is just ripe for memes.


The repercussion: Why do I get the feeling a fraternity on a college campus is going to jokingly drink this and get someone killed?


Jared Russo





Saturday

Teflon Tav

The character: Teflon Tav (@FreeTMaines), glasses wearer, frequent shower-er

The plot: An innocuous question turned Tav into an overnight sensation. He asked his 400-ish followers, "people that wear glasses exclusively, (no contact lenses) how do you shower?"

What a, cough, shower thought. This take is so harmless and polite, and that made it impossible to dunk on. What it did though was awake the sleeping giant — 10,000 quote tweets puts you straight into the upper echelons on main character-ville.


The repercussion: People had to read the tweet twice to make sense of it. The exclusivity clause makes it even more complicated, rendering lens-wearers' opinions invalid, but that didn't stop it from turning it into a laughter spectacle.


Adwait Patil



Thursday

Jill Bennett

The character: Jill Bennett, host of the Jill Bennett Show, design thinking expert

The plot: Bennett, a radio show host from Vancouver, Canada, found herself making a discovery on evening. Bennett had found a repeat offender, "⁩ this is second incident I’ve seen caused by these useless "slow street" barricades installed last month. They don’t slow down traffic; they cause crashes and traffic chaos," she wrote complaining to the city about a SUV that was stuck on a speed barrier.

Is Bennett playing 4D chess? Does she secretly want more of these barriers and is double-agent showing off how effective they are? Or is this just an obtuse take on road safety infrastructure?


The repercussion: Bennett's take was the perfect invitation for road safety Twitter and anti-SUV twitter to join hands and alongside the regular circus of clowns clowning on a bad take, there's still some good left in the world.


Adwait Patil



Thursday

@winta_zesu

The character: @winta_zesu, influencer, severely TikTok-poisoned

The plot: This Main Character is one of the most severe cases of “social media brain” we’ve seen yet. TikTok user @winta_zesu (shown in the video; they’re not the person who posted the tweet below) shared a video of herself keeping her Uber driver waiting because she wanted to leave her apartment building the “aesthetic way.” That’s a thing, apparently.


The Uber driver can be seen approaching the foyer, wondering why the person who ordered the ride is refusing to move and get in the car. It’s because @winta_zesu thinks it’s totally un-chic to exit a building if other people are walking near her. Mind-boggling stuff.


The repercussion: I can’t wrap my head around why the person filming and the concierge appear to find the whole thing funny, and the TikToker’s behavior normal. It is absolutely not.

What’s more, her walk to the car — when she finally decides the coast is clear enough — is decidedly underwhelming, and people on Twitter wasted no time pointing that out.


Darcy Jimenez



———

Read the previous edition of our One Main Character column, which included a new nepo baby, a chef who thought spicing things means "gentrifying," Vogue magazine with an absurd take and an American service worker brave enough to fight the Europeans over their tipping habits.


Did we miss a main character from this week? Please send tips to [email protected].

Comments

  1. John Doe 1 year ago

    I've seen newborn foals that were more graceful.

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