this sh*t is bananas
A Trader Joe's Hater, And More Of This Week's 'One Main Character'
Every day, somebody says or does something that earns them the scorn of the internet. Here at Digg, as part of our mission to curate what the internet is talking about right now, we rounded up the main characters on Twitter from this past week and held them accountable for their actions.
Each day on twitter there is one main character. The goal is to never be it
— maple cocaine (@maplecocaine) January 3, 2019
This week, we've got someone who doesn't understand the Trader Joe's hype, discourse about bananas in America and a person who's having an existential crisis.
Sunday
Trader Joe's Hater
The character: Random Twitter user who hates the grocery store Trader Joe's
The plot: This guy hates Trader Joe's and will not stop tweeting about it!
It’s a fucking tortilla chip and dip store don’t ever mention that place to me ever again
— comfy boy (@ihatethiskid) July 16, 2023
The repercussion: A lot of people like Trader Joe's, as it turns out, and they did not stand idly by for the slander. Is there a cult around Trader Joe's? No. Will people not shut up about how great it is, likely triggering this dude's hot take? Perhaps. But they have cookie butter, which is excellent and I like very much. Okay, commence the dunking:
not finding great items at trader joes is once again a skill issue https://t.co/T50Xj1phkF
— jayne (@GI_Jayneee) July 17, 2023
In summer 2018 when I only had $100/week for all my basic necessities (food, gas, laundry, etc) Trader Joe’s was lifesaving. $25 a week on groceries there and I made it work https://t.co/pGDBoZZBzU
— Suki’s Mom (@zukosmadre) July 17, 2023
Literally all of the Trader Joe’s slander I see on here is from 21-year-olds that don’t know how to grocery shop. Trader Joe’s is amazing. It’s significantly cheaper than most chains, they have cute seasonal items, there’s produce, meat, dairy, bread—like, I’m not understanding.
— [HB] RAINEY™ (@RaineyOvalle) July 17, 2023
ALDI VS TRADER JOES GOT MFS READY TO GO TO WAR😭😭😭 MEANWHILE IM HIGH AF AT ~MARKET BASKET~ WATCHIN THE BEEF LIKE pic.twitter.com/3n1suhoHR2
— THE KID MERO 🇩🇴 (@THEKIDMERO) July 17, 2023
Trader Joes really the greatest store for single people on the go.
— Shad💻 (@RashadShabazzz) July 17, 2023
Jared Russo
Monday
Malcolm Harris
The character: Malcolm Harris, writer, historian, communist, banana man
The plot: Harris is a very cool cat. He's got a book out about a particular section of Silicon Valley and is an active banterer on Twitter. When he tweeted out a take about pro-growth lefties, and how "there just… won’t be bananas. Because it doesn’t make any other-than-capitalist sense to create a world-spanning daily banana infrastructure for people in Columbus, Ohio."
There need not be any moralism here ("When you eat a banana, you are bad") there just... won't be bananas. Because it doesn't make any other-than-capitalist sense to create a world-spanning daily banana infrastructure for people in Columbus, Ohio.
— Malcolm Harris (@BigMeanInternet) July 17, 2023
There's a lot going on, and the core issues being debated here, because of Harris, are de-growth leftism and pro-growth. The former is a more radical approach, while proponents of the latter have other ideas.
The repercussion: I'd like to eat my own words here and say that this one was a classic Twitter moment. Lasted days, involved people from all walks of life and spawned some wild tangential discussions.
Banana discourse has nothing on this cold open pic.twitter.com/DlmwODa7O4
— Zee-briskie Point (@Zalifornia) July 20, 2023
Bananas aside, the decline is coming & people will lose access to things either way. Either it’ll be coordinated in ways that ease this for everyone or, given our current trajectory, it’ll be elite-administered austerity for most people. Those are the only two futures right now.
— Sturgeon's Law (@Sturgeons_Law) July 20, 2023
this mf said ‘stuffing endless bananas into your kid’ https://t.co/4zxCIJTVhi
— kang (@jaycaspiankang) July 19, 2023
only real contribution i have to banana discourse is that it's revealing that an industry like banana is always picked as opposed to meat, which is way more destructive and exploitative
— leftwick (@lefttwick) July 20, 2023
Americans when the global revolution stops banana exports https://t.co/imQaOm5KuD pic.twitter.com/fElRPabNiB
— ye (@Ya1hor) July 19, 2023
This is getting a lot of negative attention, but I think the banana is a well-chosen example on many fronts. Here's a thread sketching why limited access to bananas in temperate regions in the future might be unavoidable and might not be so bad. 🧵 https://t.co/Pp5DNcxgDR
— Kai Heron (@KaiHeron) July 19, 2023
global supply chains are good actually https://t.co/shvfyvFw0o pic.twitter.com/BYxnHxfhbX
— Dr. Samantha Hancox-Li (@perdricof) July 18, 2023
time for me to tap the sign again: https://t.co/Boz1XOrGXD pic.twitter.com/9wal32nRvX
— warendenkform.bsky.social (@warendenkform) July 18, 2023
Adwait Patil
Sunday
trash jones
The character: trash jones, Twitter user, person having an existential crisis
The plot: On Sunday, Twitter user trash jones sparked a site-wide debate after saying that people in their late twenties are experiencing existential crises because of the time they lost to the pandemic. They wrote that for themselves and their peers "relationships fast-tracked, careers faltered" and they "lost those core identity-building years."
everyone i know in their late 20s is having an existential crisis because we skipped our mid 20s in the pandemic. relationships fast-tracked, careers faltered, we lost those core identity-building years and now we feel like 23-year-old brains in bodies approaching 30
— trash jones (@jzux) July 16, 2023
The repercussion: The many responses to this take were mixed. Some people agreed, but most were of the view that the pandemic didn’t really steal three whole years of our lives, and that being in your mid-twenties feels like this for everyone, pandemic or no pandemic. Others also pointed out that the pandemic was inarguably a very sh—tty time, and we don’t need to be mean to someone whose experience of it was different or more difficult than ours.
everyone has a crisis from 27-29 about what they haven’t done yet. it comes after the crisis about being 24-26, which comes after the crisis about being 23. there will always be a thing that preempts what you thought “should” happen in your twenties. this time it was covid lol
— rachel (@rachelmillman) July 16, 2023
not to be pissy but "im substracting two years to my age because of covid" to me reveals a superficial understanding of what being alive is
— unbearable experience (@twinkpeaks_) July 16, 2023
No you lived those years. They built your current identity. They weren’t the years you wanted but they are what you got.
— Emilie Fairbanks (@DCLTLAWYER) July 16, 2023
Nah this is just regular aging. Everyone in their 30s thinks they are still basically 23.
— black░◆ (@Di4mondD4y) July 17, 2023
Everyone I know in their 30s, 40s, & 50s are having existential crises because we’re all sick, realizing we can’t physically work until we drop, but we can’t afford survival either. Our Golden Years will be spent amid mass disease, extreme weather, fires, & food/water shortages. https://t.co/vQNOBh02Ws
— Laura Miers (@LauraMiers) July 17, 2023
People saw this pretty banal and understandable tweet and have been doing the whole “well we had it tough/tougher” performance in response. What a bunch of weirdos. https://t.co/QyOEXY1vRb
— Zito (@_Zeets) July 17, 2023
the exact right age to go through the pandemic was 31. if you were any younger or older than that you are now irreparably broken to the core of your being. but if you were 31 you are now just chillin'
— lauren.rotatingsandwiches.com on bluesky now (@NotABigJerk) July 17, 2023
the most twitter behavior is seeing a post about grieving a version of yourself that only existed before a devastating, extended global health crisis and responding with "um actually experience is NOT about me specifically so it's wrong" lmao https://t.co/td2adVcEek
— morgan sung (@morgan_sung) July 17, 2023
I don’t want to dismiss the trauma of the pandemic (which we’re still in) but this is just normal. You are going to feel 23 for at least the next 15 years. I’m 41 and my brain has juuuuust graduated me to to 26. https://t.co/rYqx3wvhC8
— Jessica Ellis (@baddestmamajama) July 17, 2023
You don’t always get career catapulting, full of fun times in your 20s. Some people experience war. Some experience death of a close one. Sometimes you never get those, like my grandparents who lived all their lives in a communist country. But whatever you experience, it shapes…
— Саруул Эрдэнэ (@luurasartemis) July 17, 2023
Guys icl we were inside for 1 summer we been back out for 3 now 😭 at some point we gotta take accountability https://t.co/1bG5zDOBpB
— marina (@prettylegend23) July 16, 2023
i like being 23. i also liked being 21. i’ll like being 28. & even when i hated it i sort of just decided to learn to love it. because at the end of the day, love does abound infinitely. you just have to be open to possibility & radically accepting of suffering. that’s true IDGAF https://t.co/WljP7i4bxD
— roro, PhD (@fuglibetty) July 17, 2023
Darcy Jimenez
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Read the previous edition of our One Main Character column, which had disappointing photos of Guy Fieri, the FBI posting a bizarre tweet and the CEO of a major corporation being unsympathetic to strikers (shock horror).
Did we miss a main character from this week? Please send tips to [email protected].
[Image credit: Anthony92931]