BEING QUIET IS FREE
A Man Upset That Women Wear Yoga Pants To The Gym, And More Of This Week's 'One Main Character'
Every day somebody says or does something that earns them the scorn of the internet. Here at Digg, as part of our mission to curate what the internet is talking about right now, we rounded up the main characters on Twitter from this past week and held them accountable for their actions.
Each day on twitter there is one main character. The goal is to never be it
— maple cocaine (@maplecocaine) January 3, 2019
This week’s characters include a guy who thinks women shouldn't wear yoga pants to the gym, a journalist with a hot take on Meg White's drumming, another hot take on an Oscar-winning film and Ben Shapiro (ugh).
There were also two characters we couldn't really dive into, like a conservative talker who couldn't define "woke" and an infamous VC who really tried to start more bank runs?
Monday
Lachlan Markay
The character: Lachlan Markay, journalist, NJ Devils fan, percussion perfectionist
The plot: Markay is one of those (blue-tick journalist), so it's up to the reader to interpret whatever he says. Markay decided to opine on the The White Stripes, who haven't released a record since 2007, and called Meg White's drumming a tragedy. What's funnier is that he was trying to dunk, via quote tweet, on a National Review article that called "Seven Nation Army" on of the best songs of the century.
meg white’s drumming is a rorschach test for how you feel about women musicians. unless you also hate all punk music, which was also basic on a technical level and that was the point and it slapped pic.twitter.com/mxi5ccu2wq
— Emily Suzanne Lever (@SnarlsDeGaulle) March 13, 2023
The White Stripes are quite iconic, and that means Meg and Jack White by extension are also iconic individuals. Not being a fan, I get. Diminishing Meg White's drumming for what, a QT-dunk? The rumors are true. The quality of content on Twitter has diminished since the Billionaire bought it.
The repercussion: Meg White, who is presumably enjoying a life away from social media, had nothing to say, but Jack White did and so did Jack's other ex-wife, Questlove and thousands of others on the Internet.
Not only is Meg White a fantastic drummer, Jack also said the White Stripes would be nothing without her. To the journalist who dissed her, keep my ex husband’s ex wife name out of your f*cking mouth.
— Karen Elson (@KarenElson_) March 14, 2023
(Please and Thank You) https://t.co/qnnxgT3Rxh
I hate to be that guy but if you want to get rid of Meg White I don't think you "got" the White Stripes
— Yopp (@Yoppchop) March 13, 2023
I try to leave “troll views” alone but this right here is out of line af. Actually what is wrong w music is people choking the life out of music like an Instagram filter—-trying to reach a high of music perfection that doesn’t even serve the song (or music) pic.twitter.com/hCj43qNpcG
— Plug 5. (@questlove) March 14, 2023
One time NIN played a prank where Trent announced “new drummer” and posted a pic with Meg White+ the band for just one hour and boy the fanbases lost it pic.twitter.com/QGv5WTABqe
— Peppa Bridgers (@PeppaBridgers) March 14, 2023
Meg White is one of the greatest drummers of all time, a true inspiration with incredible feel and musicality. Easy love ya Meg xo Cavs
— King Gizzard (@kinggizzard) March 16, 2023
“Meg White is a shitty drummer” has been a chalk take for 20 years now. You wanna go REAL hard you point out that Jack White’s singing is even worse than his personality
— Drew Magary (@drewmagary) March 16, 2023
Adwait Patil
Sunday
Lake Micah
The character: Lake Micah, loves syllables, hates popular movies
The plot: Micah, a writer with with more than five accounts tagged in his Twitter bio, didn't particularly enjoy the most recent Best Picture-winner "Everything Everywhere All At Once." So right on cue, a tweet which used 44 words and 277 characters was published, calling out everyone who liked the film as sheep.
Everything Everywhere All at Once must be nice if you like art to pander, flatter your vanities, authorize your attitudes, preserve you from exposure to anything that is not a positivist jamboree with the pacifying succor of pert little morals—so many readymades—lying in store
— lake micah (@afrofatalism) March 13, 2023
The repercussion: I wish I knew if the take gave Micah more followers, I assume that's the intention with these types, and I'd like to admit that it was a brave and bold move. However, most of the Internet isn't as zen as me. And while I didn't even finish reading the entire tweet, there were people from all over the world dunking on it.
not to engage genuinely but ursula wins again https://t.co/5dqI7N3KMD pic.twitter.com/UmtoiO3P4W
— quiche lorén (@lorendotorg) March 14, 2023
First of all these are just Panic! at the Disco song titles https://t.co/dw6IssjMmy
— Ira (@iramadisonthree) March 13, 2023
the thesaurus dot com search bar rn pic.twitter.com/Ulc2akNhCk https://t.co/kOkRYM6ad8
— juan² #BLM (@juanxjuanisjuan) March 13, 2023
i totally agree, we need to deconstruct the plutocratic milieu of the intersectional intersections of denominational antidisestablishmentarianism in lieu of the neoliberal constituency and redefine what it means to convey and obtain the concupiscent anomalistic clearance and- https://t.co/1JKCuV4RgV pic.twitter.com/A1KigV7xnN
— veteran kink-shamer 🫶🏾 (@cinnasela) March 13, 2023
him: when i get home you better not be a film made to pander, flatter your vanities, authorize your attitudes, preserve you from exposure to anything that is not a positivist jamboree with the pacifying succor of pert little morals—so many readymades—lying in store
— raiden shogun fans ph 🐀 (@femcelgender) March 13, 2023
my goofy ass: https://t.co/2HcmyIhFPF pic.twitter.com/n6F5AzWD7l
I liked it bc this guy had a raccoon on his head helping him cook food and they were friends :) pic.twitter.com/zdPGTjvjKV
— hannah (@lobsterness) March 13, 2023
Adwait Patil
Monday
Tilda Swinton
The character: Tilda Swinton, Academy Award-winning actress, very problematic interviewee
The plot: Having to wear masks. So cumbersome! So annoying! We’ve been doing it for years! Can’t we be done with that already?
Tilda Swinton is so over COVID mandates on film sets: “I’m about to shoot a picture in Ireland, and I was told to wear a mask at all times, and I’m not." https://t.co/ojz0pJxefY
— Variety (@Variety) March 13, 2023
Oh wait, it’s because we’re in a global pandemic that hasn’t ended, is still killing people and professionals put these safety protocols in place to protect the cast and crew. You know, for a good reason! How is that working out for you Tilda?
The repercussion: Oh it seems it is NOT working out for you, giving up on wearing a mask so you don’t get infected with a deadly virus and infect other people with it too.
Tilda Swinton: I’m perfectly healthy after multiple COVID infections & refuse to wear a mask on set
— Dr. Genevieve Eastabrook MD FRCSC (she/her) (@placentadoc) March 14, 2023
Also Tilda Swinton: I have long COVID & can’t remember my lines (or apparently, anything else) pic.twitter.com/BhzHr0bk0e
Twitter, do what you do best: find every piece of evidence to publicly shame and insult celebrities and bring them down to earth where we shouldn’t idolize them anymore. They aren’t heroes or inspirations or idols, they’re just dumb regular people with a lot more money and good looks!
I’m confused as to how Tilda Swinton expected these things would go.
— Imani Barbarin, MAGC | Crutches&Spice ♿️ (@Imani_Barbarin) March 14, 2023
There’s a reason people wanted to be COVID safe and now she may not be able to work going forward.
Like, sorry, but oh well.
You took a “calculated risk” this was the result. https://t.co/hZFlAmBAhU
Tilda Swinton can shut the fuck up. She's still on my shit list for this breath-taking racism. https://t.co/ed6ICRhpEs https://t.co/ZgdKZrdzgF pic.twitter.com/SgcLwi6fwl
— Donna Dickens (Not Parody) (@MildlyAmused) March 13, 2023
Accidentally read an article that starts with Tilda Swinton saying she will not wear a mask on set even when required to, & ends w/her saying people have forgotten how to think collectively & that was never a problem for her generation. Clearly she's not worried about consistency
— Mattilda B Sycamore (@mbsycamore) March 14, 2023
Fuck Woody Harrelson, fuck Tim Robbins.
— Herbivorous Vulgaris (@herbivorousvulg) March 14, 2023
And I never thought I’d be saying this but fuck Tilda Swinton.
All superstar actors who don’t give a fuck about cast mates or crew.
They represent the worst of Hollywood fame and egotism. The world (and movie set) revolves around them.
Tilda Swinton, who had COVID multiple times, bravely declares that she’s not wearing a mask anymore https://t.co/pdJJivSpbr pic.twitter.com/eHOE0gwWIn
— The A.V. Club (@TheAVClub) March 14, 2023
tilda swinton is just a typical champagne socialist brat. not even remotely unique. there are hundreds just like her out there https://t.co/AXolhGQEa1 pic.twitter.com/J0FaWc8AiU
— _ 🐀 (@x3r0gxx) March 14, 2023
Jared Russo
Friday
Ben Shapiro
The character: Ben Shapiro, Right-wing bobble-head, overall bad guy
The plot: I am just so tired. I am tired of the pointless, needless dunking on someone who will never see nor contemplate the vitriolic criticism directed his way. There is no sense in amplifying and projecting and promoting hate speech and intentional trolling. But alas, with multiple idiotic and breathtakingly evil comments in just one week, Mr. Shapiro was the OMC seemingly every single day.
Fuck this dude https://t.co/bopzqrex2f
— Shane (@shandrick) March 15, 2023
There is just no end to the stupidity. No end in sight to the madness, the cruelty, the trolling. When we think we’ve hit the bottom, it seems the world is a bottomless pit. Why is he famous? Why do we know his name? Why do we pay attention?
Everything about Ben Shapiro starts to make sense when you find out he failed as a screenwriter. pic.twitter.com/VJvRLnGTO2
— Abe Goldfarb (@AbeGoldfarb) March 13, 2023
Why do we allow pure evil to keep winning over and over again?
The repercussion: Have at it Twitter, I’m done thinking about or talking about this feckless, spineless, toothless ghoul. An absolute monster, a moron, and the worst of humanity incarnate.
LOL at Ben Shapiro being “Team Child Hunger”
— Julie Klausner (@julieklausner) March 16, 2023
Ben Shapiro: Every Unborn Child Is Precious
— Michael Cohen (@speechboy71) March 15, 2023
Also Ben Shapiro: Feeding children is overrated https://t.co/tRp7TaVfqm
I love when Ben Shapiro tweets about movies because it reminds me how he’s a failed screenwriter who hates the success other people have while he’s busy pretending to have a sense of humor almost as dry as his wife. https://t.co/bToL1uACN9
— Panic! @ The Quiz Show (@geoff1106) March 14, 2023
just so nobody can accuse me of only being mad about democrats: A just society would excise Ben Shapiro from itself. This level of willful, antisocial contempt for people in need in need warrants expulsion—by any of several possible methods https://t.co/aBggYhV8zb
— timothy 💀 faust (@crulge) March 15, 2023
Dear @benshapiro: Your remarks are dumb. Let’s do math. Say a kid should eat 21 meals a week. School lunches provide 5 of those meals, solving nearly one-fourth of the problem. That’s pretty good.
— Ted Lieu (@tedlieu) March 15, 2023
Oh and how about you miss one of your meals five days a week and see how you feel. https://t.co/uytdOgiLlB
Ben Shapiro rose to fame debating college freshman who finished their first sociology class, and now wants to move on to younger children. https://t.co/QQF8mtnNyC
— Walter Masterson (@waltermasterson) March 15, 2023
Jared Russo
Sunday
BigNik
The character: BigNik, loser, Christian rapper
The plot: The world can be a scary place — a lot of horrible, unjust and distressing things happen every day — and Twitter is often the place people turn to express their fear and despair at the state of things. For user @BigNik, one of the worst and most upsetting things happening right now is women being in the gym while wearing yoga pants.
So disgusting when I see women dressed like prostitutes in the gym. You don’t have to wear spandex and yoga pants, there’s plenty other clothing.
— BigNik (@BigNik) March 13, 2023
I shouldn’t have to feel like I’m in a strip club when I’m just trying to work on my health. It’s annoying.
For reasons I cannot fathom, he thinks “spandex and yoga pants” are things prostitutes wear. It’s giving “guy whose only experience of sex workers is in Grand Theft Auto.” Although they don’t wear yoga pants there either, and obviously there’s no such thing as a universal sex worker uniform, so honestly what the hell is he talking about? Also, please find me one strip club where they wear yoga pants. Please.
The repercussion: Women wear these items of clothing in the gym because they are comfortable and appropriate for working out. If you’re not able to focus or “work on your health” unless the women around you are draped in shapeless sweats or potato sacks, that’s a You Problem.
This is basically what people on Twitter (the well-adjusted ones, anyway) told BigNik — before he turned off the replies. So brave.
Bro’s miserable during his workouts like pic.twitter.com/Dubjd5we1r
— Matt Wo (@mattwo_) March 14, 2023
me waiting to use the bench press https://t.co/nfq3JodS2m pic.twitter.com/EfqylTYWMg
— em 🍓 (@uhhmmily) March 16, 2023
Hey Nik, have you considered that they are just trying to be comfortable while they are working out? What would you prefer they wear? Jeans and a winter coat?
— Eric Moran (@EricMoranFilms) March 13, 2023
Nik, you should work out at home if you can’t keep your eyes to yourself. Sweatpants are hot and sweaty, as the name implies, and women shouldn’t have to be uncomfortable because you can’t keep your eyes to yourself. HTH!
— Amy 🦖 (@AmyNoMiddleNam3) March 14, 2023
sorry about your personality mr nik but if it makes you feel better no one likes having to look at you either
— Thirsty Thirsty Thembo (@OnlyAWorldAway) March 14, 2023
See I’ve tried this and my hoop skirt got sucked into the treadmill https://t.co/NzigklyN9U
— sarah schauer 🦂 (@sarahschauer) March 16, 2023
Not the edgy kid from Vine trying to tell women what to wear at the gym
— Justin👑 (@KingMalikai_) March 14, 2023
Chop chop https://t.co/P4MjJTND01 pic.twitter.com/90gAzNerLk
— chadchad (@thechadx2) March 16, 2023
As a bisexual woman i have never ever felt weird around women because they are wearing tighter/less clothes at the gym. This is 100% a cis man’s problem and he shouldn’t be allowed at the gym at all. https://t.co/QJ4cRUemkg
— ky🌞 (@liife_of_ky) March 15, 2023
how do you have time to think about this while being 3’11 and half blind, your main priority should be not accidentally falling down a storm drain https://t.co/GpL5Lu8mPL
— jord 🦦 (@freshwaterjord) March 15, 2023
Oh god you would have HATED the 80s
— emily cheree (@cdxliv444) March 14, 2023
Ur complaining ab Yoga pants?! That’s what ur supposed to wear… 🤦🏻♀️there’s options AND THATS ONE OF THEM! Leave us alone!
— Nothing (@alexxiswith2xs) March 13, 2023
So Matthew 18:9 yourself and stop making your sinning eyes everyone else's problem
— Fort Wayne Crime Erin (@CriminalUnionFW) March 14, 2023
Darcy Jimenez
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Read the previous edition of our One Main Character column, which included a terrible husband, Seth Rogen, a men's rights activist and an American politician who had a bizarre take.
Did we miss a main character from this week? Please send tips to [email protected].