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LEAVE CATS OUT OF THIS

A Florida Man Who Thinks The People Getting Abortions Are Cat Ladies Who Don't Have Sex, And More Of This Week's 'One Main Character'

Molly Bradley
Molly Bradley
A Florida Man Who Thinks The People Getting Abortions Are Cat Ladies Who Don't Have Sex, And More Of This Week's 'One Main Character'
We've also got a woman who finds Wes Anderson "fascoid," people very concerned about document safety, a guy who used multiple slurp juices on a single ape and an evangelical concerned for how your judgment day is shaping up.
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Every day somebody says or does something that earns them the scorn of the internet. Here at Digg, as part of our mission to curate what the internet is talking about right now, we rounded up the main characters on Twitter from this past week and held them accountable for their actions.



This week's characters include a woman who finds Wes Anderson “fascoid,” several people who are more concerned about a document leak than the imminent decimation of reproductive rights, a guy who used multiple slurp juices on a single ape, an evangelical with a useful warning about judgment day and a Florida man who thinks the people getting abortions are cat ladies who don’t have sex.



Saturday

Sophie Lewis

The character: Sophie Lewis (@reproutopia), former movie enjoyer, now movie critic

The plot: On Saturday, Sophie Lewis took to Twitter to announce that she had finally seen Wes Anderson’s 2021 movie “The French Dispatch,” and she had some thoughts.

“It convinced me Wes Anderson has crossed over decisively from what was previously possible to condone as ‘apolitical world of winking whiteness & poignant quirkiness’ into a fascoid trivializing of struggle and active investment in the carceral state,” Lewis wrote.



She went on to say, “I imagine everyone already said this at the time, forgive me for my very belated observations. That shit about May ’68 and that other shit about the incarcerated artist who saves the art dealers from the rioting inmates made me sick up in my mouth.”


The repercussion: In addition to pointing out that no one, in fact, had said this after watching “The French Dispatch,” people disagreed with her interpretation of Anderson’s film, generally agreeing that she was willfully reading things into it that were not actually suggested in the work. People also had a lot to say about the dubious word “fascoid.”



The following day, Lewis wrote the following:




 Feeling a little curious about that “once again,” but let’s leave it alone.

Molly Bradley



Monday

Harmeet K. Dhillon & @presidentbeb

The character: Harmeet K Dhillon, lawyer and Republican party official, and @presidentbeb, Twitter user

The plot: On Monday, news outlet Politico published a leaked supreme court draft opinion that appears to show the court’s intention to rule in favor of Mississippi in its challenge against Roe v. Wade, the 1973 ruling that made access to abortions a consitutional right. Unsurprisingly, millions across America and elsewhere were devastated by the prospect of widespread abortion bans in the US  ⁠— but some had other concerns.

For Dhillon and @presidentbeb, the real issue was not almost 50 years of progress in women’s rights potentially being eroded, but that the leak had happened at all. Yes, you read right.

“This act of leaking an important opinion is terrorism against the Court and against our nation,” Dhillon tweeted. “These people behind this vile act, are attacking the very foundations of the US.”



Similarly, President Beb wrote: “Y’all are freaking out over Roe being overturned. I’m freaking out that for the first time in history a draft opinion of the court was leaked.”



The repercussion: Naturally, Twitter users wasted no time in setting Dhillon and President Beb straight, reminding them that the true injustice here, actually, is a government apparently seeking to strip a nation’s people of their hard-fought reproductive rights.



Darcy Jimenez



Tuesday

Slurp Juice Guy

The character: Rare Candy IO, NFT Marketplace, slurp juice connoisseurs

The plot: Someone at Rare Candy IO, an online NFT marketplace that says it’s  “the only NFT marketplace where your collectibles truly live on the blockchain,” woke up on Monday and decided it was time to take everyone to school. It was time to enlighten dummies online about slurp juice.

“a lotta yall still dont get it,” they tweeted. “ape holders can use multiple slurp juices on a single ape.

“so if you have 1 astro ape and 3 slurp juices you can create 3 new apes. Tonight's slurp juice mint event is essentially a minting event for both Lab Monkes and Special Forces.”



I don’t want to spend time talking about the ‘chain, Apes or whatever it is that Rare Candy are a front for. I’m just sad no one at this Web3 — the future right? — did some basic milkshake ducking research before posting a very poorly stylized tweet. Let’s not even get into the content. Does the ape turn into a new ape after slurping new juice, can they switch back, do we get unlimited refills? Anyway, BuzzFeed News had the update no one feared but we all expected:

This post was intended to demonstrate the absurdity of the current NFT market. After publication BuzzFeed News learned the account promoting "slurp juice" appears to be associated with another account that has posted extremist hate. We have removed any links to the account so as not to promote the project. As the famous web2 axiom goes, “Everyone loves the slurp juice tweet! 5 seconds later We regret to inform you the slurp juice is racist."

[Buzzfeed News]


The repercussion: This was so short-lived I don’t think people even got their fully formed dunks out, just some premature shots.



Adwait Patil


Erick Erickson

The character: Erick Erickson, conservative evangelical radio host — that’s all you need, really

The plot: On Tuesday evening, Erickson decided to take the opportunity, in light of the leak revealing that the Supreme Court is poised to overturn Roe v. Wade and allow states to individually choose to ban abortion, to warn other Twitter users about the perils of [checks notes] hell?



Which, lol. Lmao.

The repercussion: People were quick to shut down and dismiss Erickson’s warning about “judgment day,” because first of all, not everyone is totally sold on the concept; second, for the believers out there, consider the famous John 8:7 verse that says, “He that is without sin among you, let him cast the first stone”; and also because, as the character of Walt very famously and poignantly says to Jesse in “Breaking Bad”: “What the hell are you talking about?”




Wednesday

Matt Gaetz

The character: Matt Gaetz, Florida (congress)man, Dick Tracy villain cosplayer, Tiffany Trump fan, guy under investigation for sex trafficking

The plot: On Wednesday, several days after the leak of a draft ruling from the Supreme Court that indicated the court was poised to overturn Roe v. Wade (the landmark decision guaranteeing the constitutional right to abortion), Gaetz weighed in on the backlash by tweeting, “How many of the women rallying against overturning Roe are over-educated, under-loved millennials who sadly return from protests to a lonely microwave dinner with their cats, and no bumble matches?”



The repercussion: Gaetz’s missive that the pro-choice women upset about the leaked draft ruling were “over-educated, under-loved” cat lovers sparked a firestorm of thousands of angry responses as netizens (including such notables as “Wonder Woman” star Lynda Carter) excoriated the Congressman for his sexist stereotypes and were quick to dredge up his alleged sexual peccadilloes. Others were confused by Gaetz attacking his opponents by calling them highly educated.





James Crugnale


———

Read the previous edition of our One Main Character column, which included a guy who wanted to speak to the manager of a Target about their vibrator aisle and more.

Did we miss a main character from this week? Please send tips to [email protected].

Comments

  1. Annie Johnson 2 years ago

    We gotta give an honorable mention to the guy who thinks Dwayne Wade is the "Wade" in Roe v. Wade. https://twitter.com/ihatethiskid/status/1521716620707516416?s=21

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