A Man Who Cried Out 'All My Apes Gone,' A Guy Who Thinks Tim Cook Isn't Rich And More Of This Week's 'One Main Character'
Every day somebody says or does something that earns them the scorn of the internet. Here at Digg, as part of our mission to curate what the internet is talking about right now, we rounded up the main characters on Twitter from this past week and held them accountable for their actions.
Earlier this week, we opened up voting for 2021's "ultimate main character." We'd love if you could take a moment to pick your favorite main character from last year.
This week's characters include a man who became an instant meme after exclaiming his non-fungible tokens had been stolen, a guy who thinks a CEO who earns $1.5 billion isn't rich, a "Sesame Street" character who had a meltdown over a rock and a pundit with an opinion so bad it was dubbed "the worst take of 2022."
Thursday
Todd Kramer
The character: Todd Kramer, art dealer, proprietor of the Ross + Kramer Gallery, monkey avatar guy, crime victim.
The plot: On Thursday evening, Kramer tweeted out the now-immortal words, "I been hacked. All my apes gone. This just sold please help me."
According to ArtNet's Eileen Kinsella, thieves had "hacked Kramer's digital wallet" and made off with an estimated $2.2 million in stolen digital art — including some apes from the Bored Ape Yacht Club collection. Kinsella also observed his tweet "drew a dreaded ratio of 711 retweets, 3,582 quote tweets, and 3,375 likes, a surefire sign of being mocked online."
He fortunately was able to get his stolen NFTs frozen on OpenSea, a decentralized non-fungible token marketplace.
Kramer later called the theft "arguably the worst night of my life."
The repercussion: Kramer's cries for help did not earn much sympathy on Twitter, as his tweet was ratioed into oblivion and netizens had a good laugh at his expense, savoring the schadenfreude of the moment.
One guy snarked, "Wow, that's so sh*tty, I'm really sorry dude. But please change your pfp [profile photo] since you no longer own it."
Others joined in on pouring salt on the wound by humorously riffing off on the tweet.
Though perhaps the deepest cut came from a fellow NFT collector who adapted his iconic tweet into an NFT, but priced at just 0.05 ETH.
Monday
Trung Phan
The character: Trung Phan, tech writer for The Hustle, rich guy police.
The plot: Following the news that Apple became the first company to reach a $3 trillion market cap, Phan said, "Tim Cook has been Apple's CEO since Aug. 24, 2011. Over this span, Apple's market cap has jumped from $340 billion to — just today — $3T. Despite this massive gain, Cook is only worth $1.5B. LESSON: You don't get rich being an employee."
The repercussion: Phan's assessment that Cook was barely getting by with just a $1.5 billion net worth drew mockery from the Twitterverse, as numerous people observed the Apple CEO is still a billionaire.
Phan attempted to defend himself from the merciless beating he took from the internet, by later quipping, "People, the Cook tweet was a joke."
Tuesday
Elmo
The character: Elmo, highly ticklish furry red muppet from "Sesame Street."
The plot: Earlier this week, someone unearthed an old "Sesame Street" clip from 2004 that featured Elmo beefing with his friend Zoe over her pet rock "Rocco" who was given the last oatmeal raisin cookie.
"How is Rocco going to eat that cookie, Zoe?" the muppet exclaimed. "Tell Elmo! Rocco doesn't even have a mouth! Rocco's just a rock! Rocco's not alive!"
The repercussion: The resurfaced "Sesame Street" clip garnered millions of views and spurred a frenzied discourse online about whether a rock could eat a cookie, inspiring countless memes and jokes.
After the internet lost its collective mind over Elmo's fight with Rocco the rock, the muppet responded to the controversy by saying "Don't worry everybody! Elmo and Zoe practiced sharing and are still best buds forever! Elmo loves you Zoe! Ha ha ha!"
But he added, "Elmo doesn't want to talk about Rocco."
Elmo also asked if anyone had ever seen a rock eat a cookie before.
Naturally, The Rock had to get the last word.
Wednesday
Nate Silver
The character: Nate Silver, founder of data journalism blog FiveThirtyEight, guy who got lucky that one time and coasted on it, frequent bad-take-haver.
The plot: On Wednesday, during a discussion with Mother Jones editor-in-chief Clara Jeffery about some schools returning to remote learning, Silver compared the closing of schools to stop the spread of COVID-19 with the decision to go to war with Iraq.
"Suppose you think that school closures were a disastrous, invasion-of-Iraq magnitude (or perhaps great) policy decision. Shouldn't that merit some further reflection?" Silver tweeted.
The repercussion: Silver's hot take proved very unpopular among his peers, sparking widespread condemnation as netizens took turns dunking on the statistician for comparing school closures to the Iraq war.
MSNBC anchor Mehdi Hasan declared Silver's tweet perhaps "the worst take of 2022 already."
Read the previous edition of our One Main Character column, which included Neil deGrasse Tyson debunking the existence of Santa Claus on Christmas Eve, and more.
Did we miss a main character from this week? Please send tips to [email protected].
